Last year, at a speaking event, I posed this question:
What is more powerful – love or money?
To find the answer to this compelling question, I took a survey of the room. I asked everyone that felt that love was more powerful to raise their hand. About 60% of the room raised their hand. Then I asked those who felt that money was more powerful to raise their hand. Roughly the other 40% raised theirs.
In any relationship you would think that love would always prevail. But does it really? I would like to believe it does and I am sure you do too. However, if you look at the statistics of what breaks up relationships, money seems to be the driving force.
My job as a money expert is to make money work not only in your life, but in your relationships too. You see, money is emotional. We come from different backgrounds, belief systems, and attitudes about money, so it can get rocky at times if you don’t have the insight on how to match it up with the people you care about the most in your life.
So how can money and relationships become a match? My answer: By following these simple 4 keys to a Financial Calm Relationship.
Key 1 – Commitment: There is something powerful about working on goals together. Accomplishing goals together not only builds your confidence that “we can do this”, but also creates bonds of strength, connection, and harmony.
Key 2 – Clarity: You really want to bring some calm to your life. Start tracking where all your money is going every month. Although the financial picture may not look pretty when you first do this, avoiding the truth causes too much stress. Putting things on paper in an Expense Tracking and Spending Plan worksheet can move mountains.
Key 3 – Communication: The quality of your relationship is based on the quality of your communication. In our culture there is a taboo around talking about money. People would rather stuff it in the closet or brush it under the rug. We oftentimes wonder how the other person might react to us bringing up those difficult financial challenges that are going on. We need money to live, so if you want your relationship to be full of life then talk about it. Though it will feel uncomfortable in the beginning, once you start doing it, it will open the door to making money and your relationship match.
Key 4 – Consistency: The major problem when making changes in our lives is consistency. The adage of “old habits die hard” really does exist because people are not taking small action steps on a consistent basis. It is always, always, always the small things that you do that will make the biggest difference. Taking small steps is easier than trying to take that giant leap. Pace yourself and don’t let your wiring of wanting instant gratification make you give up on your undertaking of bringing about those changes you want to make.
So, make the pledge to make your money and relationships match. You will be surprised on how much calm it brings to your relationship.
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